love and in love

In my opinion…

When you love someone more then yourself-non family- this is where you cross the line from loving someone to being IN love with someone. To care about someone else s well being more then your own or others around you for everything with them to be more important. That’s being in love. That’s honest, old fashion true love. it’s honestly rare to feel and even more rare to find. They say someone always loves more in a relationship. and it’s also said that the power of the relationship is held by the one who loves least. I will agree as the two correlate with each other.

I have loved many times before. I love people still. I love them because they have qualities that are admirable. But to be in love. I have only done this twice ever. Twice ever would I be so struck with someone that nothing they could do, would really upset me, that I wanted my life to be there’s, two times in my 31 years on this planet have I ever thought, damn I would change my last name….the first one was taken from my by drugs. This one, well lets just say I hope he never leaves me. I have too many fears, and I wont voice them here, but I love him for his wonderful qualities, I love him for his beautiful visions and honesty, I love him for his soft ways, and his hard outer shell, I love the way he says my name, and how his voice can sooth me to sleep or relax my over active mind. how when he holds me close I feel protected and not the protector. For once I feel that I am a woman, and he is my man. To be humbled to the roll you should be in this woman empowered life is a beautiful thing. He makes me feel beautiful in that way. I love him for the way he can do that without even trying. But above that, over all that rest the fact that I want him to be happy. I want to please him from the moment he wakes till the point he falls asleep. Not just sexually - in every way. I want him to be pleased, to be happy, to be these things because of me. I want this more then I want them for myself and THIS is how I know…I am IN LOVE with him. and while yes it is beautiful, it’s scary and I fear the fall because the high he has me on is better than any drug. He is my lover, my friend, my only and yes I want to marry him and be with him the rest of my earthly life. I just hope that he wants this for me and of me and with me.

He will always be my angler, my turtle, my dream, my heart and the reason it skips beats.

words spilling from my brain. unfinished

My tears leak as an overflow of emotion comes to a head. I gather all my strength, what little I have, against all odds to slow the flow. What an embarrassing fate for you to see me, at my weakest, over my weakness, yet you do- unknowingly, each morning in the mirror. My world is your oyster, open my shell, this beautiful disaster, this pleasurable hell, let your desire wash over me, let me filter your love out, though your feelings less obvious and I wear mine on my sleeve, over flowing from my body, like the water spout at sea